Ten Years in the Classroom, a Lifetime of Study
Why a teaching assistant, therapist and parent built The Calm Coach
We regulate through connection
About Me
Hello, I’m Victoria, founder of The Calm Coach.
For almost ten years, I’ve worked as a Teaching Assistant in a primary school. During that time, I’ve seen hundreds of children trying to navigate overwhelm, anxiety, frustration and big emotions, often without understanding what was happening inside their nervous system. Their bodies were responding to stress, but nobody had ever explained why.
Alongside my work in education, I trained as a Craniosacral Therapist, Reflexologist and Yoga Nidra Teacher, and built a wellbeing practice helping adults and children learn practical nervous system regulation and co-regulation skills. What struck me time and again was how familiar their experiences felt. The adults in my therapy room were often carrying the same struggles as the children in my classroom. The racing heart before something difficult. The feeling of shutting down after too much at once. The constant pressure to keep going without understanding what was happening inside their own bodies.
Two very different worlds kept teaching me the same thing: we are rarely taught how our nervous systems work. Without that understanding, it’s easy to spend years believing there is something wrong with us, when in reality our bodies are often responding in understandable ways to stress, experience and everything life asks of us.
I’m also a mum to teenagers, and this is where the work became even more personal. Watching my own children navigate exam pressure, friendship difficulties and all the emotional ups and downs of growing up, I found myself wishing they had been taught something so simple, yet so valuable: how to recognise what their bodies are telling them, understand why they feel the way they do, and have practical tools to help themselves.
Not simply being told to “calm down”, but being shown how, and understanding why. That is at the heart of The Calm Coach.
I believe one of the most valuable things we can give children is co-regulation before self-regulation. Children learn what regulation feels like through their relationships with the adults around them. When parents, carers and educators understand their own nervous systems and learn how to create a calmer, more connected environment, they are not only supporting children in the moment; they are helping them develop the foundations for regulating themselves as they grow.
The Calm Coach is about making that understanding accessible, practical and something we can all use in real life.
My Approach
I kept coming back to two simple questions. What if children learned how their nervous systems worked before stress, anxiety and overwhelm became lifelong patterns? And what if the adults around them learned it too?
The more I reflected, the clearer it became. We cannot expect children to regulate if the adults around them have never been taught how regulation works either. The Calm Coach was created to bridge that gap.
It’s more than a programme for children. It’s an approach that gives children and the adults around them a shared understanding of the nervous system, with practical tools that can be used in school, at home and in everyday life.
My approach is shaped by almost a decade working in primary education, alongside professional training as a Craniosacral Therapist, Reflexologist and Yoga Nidra Teacher, therapeutic work with adults, and extensive study of the nervous system, neuroscience, breathwork and emotional wellbeing.
My passion is translating complex science into practical, accessible tools that children can understand, teachers can confidently use in busy classrooms, and parents can naturally weave into everyday family life. Because lasting change happens when the adults around a child change too.
Making It Accessible
I believe every child deserves the opportunity to understand their nervous system and develop the skills to regulate their emotions, whatever their circumstances. Access to these skills should never depend on a school’s budget.
That’s why the children’s and staff programmes are completely free for UK schools. Not as an add-on or one-off initiative, but as something that can become part of everyday school life and be reinforced at home.
The only thing I ask in return is that schools help share the approach with parents and carers too. When home and school use the same language around regulation, these skills can become part of everyday life.
I believe nervous system education and emotional regulation deserve a place alongside other essential skills children learn at school. Every child should leave school understanding their own body, recognising their emotions and knowing practical ways to navigate life’s challenges.
Thank you for taking the time to read my story and for considering bringing The Calm Coach into your school.
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